March 1 #NarrativeStreet

When I was in my early 20’s, I went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras as part of a friend’s bachelor party weekend.

It was everything you’d imagine it could have been.  Endless amounts of booze.  Countless strippers.  Nights that turned into days that turned into nights.  I ate like a king and I drank like a fish for 3 days and nights.  It was legitimately the most fun I think I’ve ever had, and I did it on a salary of about $30,000.

Demarcus Cousins makes significantly more money than that.

Last night was Mardi Gras in New Orleans.  The Smoothie King Arena where Boogie now calls home is about a mile and a half from Bourbon Street.  Tonight the Pelicans play a home game against the Pistons.

While Cousins may be suspended after picking up his 18th technical foul of the season, if he plays I won’t be touching him with a 10 foot (stripper?) pole.

In fact, I’ll likely be avoiding all the Pelican’s like they were a Nicole Kidman high five.


**Note after this article was written, Cousins was suspended as his technical wasn’t rescinded.  Anthony Davis is obviously a fantastic play, but I’m not going to edit the joke above because I enjoy the gif way too much)**

Speaking of disgusting white chicks with long stringy hair, Kelly Olynk has a history against the Cleveland Cavaliers and it’s not a good one.  Though Kevin Love remains sidelined for the foreseeable future, Lebron and the boys will be playing out the first ever #ImmaGetYouBitchNarrative .  All the Lebron on this nationally televised game.kelly

Sometimes when a player leaves a team, we see a #RevengeNarrative spot… but Kyle O’Quinn doesn’t really fit into that bucket.  After all, KOQ loved his time with Orlando.  So could this be a #HomecomingNarrative ?  Nope.  Not one of those either, as the big fella is a NYC Native playing for his hometown Knicks.  With such wonderful things to say about both his new team and old, perhaps this is a #OverallGoodGuy narrative?  Certainly not.    Let’s just say that Joakim Noah is out and Willy Hernangomez managed just 8 points in 34 minutes vs Toronto, so Kyle O’Quinn might be a thing.

Will we get the good Joker or the bad Joker tonight in Milwaukee? Nikola Jokic has been “tired”, and shown it averaging 5.3 points per game following the all-star break, but has gotten back on track in his last 2 tallying 29-27-16.  #WhySoSerious narrative?

You know who’s pretty good?  The Clippers.  You know who’s better?  The Rockets.  You know who plays tonight in one of the two late night hammer games with a 231 over/under and a 1.5 point spread?  Most of my DFS plays. #GoodOffenseHammerNarrative

You know who stinks?  The Kings.  You know who’s worse?  The Nets.  You know who plays tonight in the other late night hammer game?  Probably the rest of my roster.  #BadDefenseHammerNarrative

No Birthdays for players on tonight’s slate, but a very Happy 47th Birthday to Chris Webber – one of my favorite college athletes of all time.  While he is probably most remembered for the infamous timeout, Chris Webber and his Fab 5 teammates literally changed the landscape of College Basketball as we know it.  Cheers to you, sir!


The Narrative cupboard was a little bare today, so I appreciate you sticking with me through this post.  I struggled harder than Bonnie and Clyde at the Oscars coming up with these 600 words, so thank you for making it this far.

As always, follow us on Twitter @NBANarratives to let us know what we missed and best of luck tonight!


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